Defining a Real Woman

Everywhere you look, there are memes and articles and opinions on the definition of a real woman.  This real woman does not need a man.  This real woman takes care of herself.  This real woman is well dressed.  This real woman has a lot to say about absolutely nothing at all.

This is all good and well, but along the way, I think a lot of us have forgotten what those that came before us are, and were, and that these women did work.  Your definition excludes the women who got you where you now are.  Work hasn’t always been defined by what you get paid to do.

At exactly what point did having children and making the choice to take care of them in your home become somehow become excluded from the definition of being a woman?  At what point did being a mother become so frowned upon, and when did stay at home mothers become something we no longer even respect?

I cannot imagine how Matt and Sam would function, on what level, if I had not been the one taking care of them those first few years.  I cannot imagine how lost in a daycare system they would be when they can barely function in a school.  I have no idea how my sacrifice for the things I wanted, and there were a lot of things I wanted, makes me less than the women who put their children straight out into that chaos, by need or choice, and they slip through the crack.

Not my kids.

Not every woman has kids.  Not every woman needs to be alone. Not every woman belongs in an office, a bull pit, on a stage, behind a bar, writing blogs, wherever she may be, and not every woman is defined by your ideas of success.

Not every woman has those ambitions.  At the end of the day, some of us just want our children to be the best they can be.  Some of us just want our kids in the trendiest clothes.  Neither really is more of a real woman.

All that is required in being a real woman is a vagina.