I Should Write

I should write to see if it offends you.

I should write because it offends you.

I should write because when I speak you put your hand over my mouth to silence the words.

I should write because I should feel. I should relay, convey, throw out, and explore what it means to live inside myself and I should take you with me.

I should write for the time when I was a girl and you told me my thoughts were less important.

I should write because because behind the paper you can never say I am not pretty enough or my clothes are all wrong.

I should write because my feelings are just as knotted up and twisted and tangled as they were 20 years ago, and somehow getting it on this page makes it momentarily better.

I should write because when I speak and it is not to you, I somehow find my head crushed beneath your thumb.

I should write because words fail me when I speak and who I speak them to fail to understand.

I should write because somewhere inside me is who I am supposed to be minus the crap life has piled up on me.

I should write because I belong to me and no one else and I am not sure how to more accurately convey that message.

I should write because it makes me feel alive.

I should write for the rush I feel when I get up from a computer, a phone, a napkin, and I know I actually nailed exactly how I feel.

I should write for the disappointment when I am finished and I know I missed it by a long shot.

I should write for all the voices and words and thoughts in my head, rapidly spinning, intertwining into a chaotic masterpiece only I can understand.

I should write to change your mind.

I should write to change my own.

I should write because I never understood you or me or anyone or anything else.

I should write for you to shake your head.

I should write to describe your genus.

I should write to pretend my own.

I should write to remove the veil.

I should write to expose myself.

I should write.