I looked in the mirror. Not a half mirror, not a compact mirror, but a mirror I have avoided in dressing rooms and in bathrooms and in life. I do not buy new clothes. I have people ask me what size to get me for gifts, and I do not answer.
I was a size 5. I was tan, and I was young, and I felt pretty. I might even say I felt sexy. This was even with stretch marks and scars and the extensive list of things life inflicts and its impressions made. I did not mind mirrors. I did not avoid buying new clothes. I never felt exposed when my upper arms showed from my sleeves, whether I was waving or whatever else you do, arms stretched up over your head, old-lady arm-fat flapping in the open.
It is easy to ignore things you refuse to look at. It is easy to blame circumstance, and circumstance did not make me overweight. Loneliness is a great excuse to binge drink in bed. It is also a great excuse to put whatever garbage you want in your body just because you gave up.
I do not give up.
I saw the mirror, there I was. There was what I had allowed to happen. There was every bad decision in caloric form, in all its glory, in all of its ugly glory, on every part of my body. I had to take action.
Beginning to change a life style, I believe one step at a time is the best way to prevent backsliding. The first step I took was to dump the soft drinks. This is not easy, either, when you are a woman who makes lame excuses and has migraines. I will get a migraine if I do not have caffeine. This is a fact. That does not require mass consumption of crap.
The first step I took was I ordered sweet tea. I ordered it everywhere I went. I had it with breakfast, I had it at random times of the day. It was a very easy transaction.
Right now, I am ordering half sweet, half unsweet. The next change will be unsweet, then water. I am taking baby steps. It is important to me to change, but it is also important that I stick with it.
No more excuses.
So, you may ask how long has it been? Two weeks. Have I noticed differences? Yes. My energy level is higher, and I am losing weight. That is the truth.
I am thinking of making a weight loss blog when I get comfortable saying my size and my measurements. I am really serious about it this time. I no longer want the mirror to be my enemy. I have aged, but I do not have to let me go because of it.
And my journey continues.
Starting with quitting soft drinks.