I was around twelve the first time I got a migraine.  I remember putting pressure on my eye and forehead trying to relieve the pain.  I also remember crying at school from it.  The lights and the noise hurt.  Every smell was excruciatingly nauseating.  

The first medicines I remember taking for my migraines were Tylenol 3, the kind with codeine, and Phenergan.  I can remember in high school pressing my head against the cold metal rails of my bed or curling up on the cool tile of the bathroom floor trying to find relief.  This was when I started getting Dimerol and Phenergan in a shot.

For a short time in my twenties, I found a good cure to be Imatrex, but, like every other medicine, it only worked for a short time.  The one to two day migraines morphed into a new kind of monster I deal with now, at 40.  

I’ve tried everything from eliminating caffeine, which gives me a migraine, to cutting out cokes and now I’ve eliminated beef.  The last one has helped the most.  I still curl up on the cold tile of a bathroom floor or look for something cold and metal to put on my head, but nothing works.  I have week long migraines at times that do nothing but switch sides while my vision, hearing, thinking, and functioning are all impaired.  My head is in the toilet, and I would do anything for it to just be a hangover, but it is a migraine.  

Everything is amplified.  Everything hurts that one side and one spot on my head.  My nose bleeds.  My ears ring in high pitched loud tones that don’t even match.  Nothing can drown out the noise.  Silence means just hearing the scream of the ringing in my ears.  

Pain meds do not work.  I hate when people suggest Excederine or any other over-the-counter meds and I wonder how I am supposed to keep these down, much less how they can work.  Then there is the drink water suggestion.  That usually ends up with the end result being an evening of dry-heaving, again, like a hangover, only worse.

If you have never had a migraine, you can never understand a migraine.  My pulse races, my blood pressure rises from the pain, which causes a headache.  It is not a fun condition to have.  I am still trying to find a cure.  

Or at least relief.

Until then….

I’m still searching.